All You Need Is Love: Landen Turned 5 on Thursday!!

Dearest Sweet Love Landen,

I can not believe you are five years old! It feels like I just brought you home from the hospital a few months ago (but that was actually your look-a-like baby sister). You are by far the coolest person I know. From how to dress to how to style your hair...you exude cool. You describe yourself as a rock star and say things that I would expect to hear from a fifteen year-old, rather than a five year old. Like yesterday you told me, "I can't even get over how awesome I am at this." Referring of course to your mad photography skills, which I'm certain will lead to a career in the arts some day.

As cool as you are, you are still a sweetheart. The night before your birthday you noticed me beginning to get emotional when I was talking to you about being five when you woke up the next day. Ever so lovingly you took my hand and said, "Don't worry mom," (sidebar--when did you stop calling me Mommy?), "I'll always be your baby and cuddle with you." Of course this sent me into tears. My heart loves you so much. And I want nothing more to believe you when you say things like this, but I know better. At some point I will become your nemesis, not allowing you to do what you want, and being the lamest presence in your life, trying too hard to hold onto the little boy who once held my hand willingly. But for now I'll take all the hugs and kisses you offer. And I think you realize how this "turning 5" has affected me more than I try to let on. Wanna know how I know? Before bed last night you came back out of your room after we said goodnight and asked me if I needed another hug and kiss. Somehow you knew that I did and offered. Sweet boy how I love you. More than you will ever know.

At 5 years old you are funny, so protective of your sisters, helpful whenever you can, and want to play all day long. You lose your cool easily when you are tired, and request broccoli, "meat," and cheese pizza for dinner with apple juice on the side. You love building forts, hanging out with your best friend, and getting tossed into the air by your father. You are handsome...so handsome...and really photogenic. Your dad and I laugh at attempted snap shots of our family...usually your baby sister is looking down, Lana is looking away making her signature fake smile, and Dad and I are trying to get the baby to look up and making a weird face in doing so, ...then there you are, magazine cover ready with a million dollar smile. You are becoming so independent. You make your own lunch, and get yourself dressed and ready for the day. You are really a little man.

Often times I stay awake at night thinking about all the funny/amazing/adorable things you did or said that day. Often I become sad at how time seems to go by faster and faster and I see less and less of a little boy in your face. But I always fall asleep smiling at how lucky I am to have you. You are a complete joy and my life would be sad and empty without you. I love you to the moon, all the time, no matter what. And I'll spend my entire life making sure you know it.

Happy birthday to my very first Sweet Love, Landen!

Love, Mommy